happy to have our life back

the past month and a half has been one of the craziest times of my life... so i am writing about it to never forget how nuts things can get when priorities are out of whack.

i had a great job at xactware after i graduated from college. i loved working with cade and the other fabulous employees there. when vi came along, i seriously considered going back to work part time simply because i loved the job so much- BUT i have never felt more love or attachment to anything in my life like i felt for violet. i knew that working part time away from her really wouldn't work emotionally or physically for all of us. on the other hand, i have a desire to keep working on the side for some extra cash and some extra brain stimulation, too. so- i started to look for a job i could do from home. this is no easy feat. the majority of at-home jobs entail little-to-no pay and involve mostly data entry. not necessarily ideal.

as the search continued, i was given an opportunity to work for a local airline who allows employees to work from home. i have ALWAYS wanted to work for an airline- afterall, cade and i love to travel and we would jump at the chance for free flights. thus, i took the job.

now, this job is considered an "at home" job; however, in order to work from home, you must first complete a 4 week, full-time training session at the company headquarters. yikes. right after i say i wouldn't go back to my old job because i felt it was too much time away from vi, i take a job that will require a month of FULL TIME hours. cade and i discussed and decided that this was a great opportunity and that we could make this work. we could put up with anything for a month, right?

so, this was our daily schedule for a month:

7:00 am - cade start working in orem

3:30 pm - drop violet off at my mom's house

4:00 pm - ashley start work in sandy/cade finish work in orem and start driving to sandy

5:45 pm - cade pick violet up from my mom's and drive to ashley's work

6:00 pm - ashley feed violet during her break

6:20-7:45 pm - cade watch violet

8:00 pm - ashley feed violet again on her next break

8:20 pm - cade drive back to lehi to put vi to bed early

10:00 pm - ashley pump during last break

midnight - ashley get off work in salt lake and drive home to lehi

repeat, repeat, REPEAT.

this is us in the car... for one of the many feeding sessions.

we tried to work in a bottle for violet so we wouldn't be crazy trying to bring her to my work to nurse but little vi would refuse a bottle at all costs. really people- ALL COSTS. so... we continued this schedule day after day. honestly, we almost gave up a few times- but when were we ever going to find a job with free flights that lets me work from home!? we kept on, looking forward to the end of this hellish schedule with MUCH anticipation.

cade kept busy while waiting between my breaks. he would visit grammy and grandpa, the gouldings or some friends. other times he would go on walks with vi or hike up the mountains to take some photos.

yes, violet is actually laying down in the mountain grass. yes, we checked for ticks. yes, she loves the outdoors.

well, the end finally came. my month was done. training finished. the hell, however, continued. when i first interviewed, they told me they were looking for people to work in the evenings. this was perfect! i could start working right around the time cade got home and that way vi would be watched the whole time. well after all that craziness, the shift i received turned out to be in the middle of the day. right smack in the middle- three times a week. since the job requires me to be on the phone my entire shift, this would now mean i would have to find a babysitter for vi until cade got home from work. then i find out that they hired so many employees that they don't have enough equipment to allow me to work from home for a little while. further, after talking with my supervisor, i find out that the free flights are almost impossible to get until after september because there are sooo many new employees.

all the perks starting looking less and less appealing. cade and i were so tired of seeing one another for a lousy 40 minutes a day while i fed violet in the back seat of his car. we felt less like a family than we ever had and our overall quality of life had bottomed out. our priorities were completely off and i wanted to be with violet more often. i mean, look at this cutie!

all this for a few free flights and some extra cash. without much hesitation, we decided it would be best to quit. that job may be perfect for some people- but for us it was never going to work. we plowed through it for a month and learned our lesson.

quitting brought a new life back to us. cade and i have never felt so good! freedom! violet was soooo much happier as well- she could sense all that tension disappear and we settled back into our routine of play and together time. i love that i am actually a mom again. there is no price or value that could be placed on the feeling i had when we finally felt our way back to normal again.

the great news is, right after quitting i heard about another job with a company who allows some employees to work entirely from home. i just finished the interview process and was hired. it is a great job that requires no set schedule and allows me to work even with violet here - so i can work whenever, wherever i want. the pay is better, the people are great and i can already tell that i am going to love it.

i guess i just had to taste all that bitter in order to finally find the sweet.

thanks to all our friends and family who supported us through the crazy times. we love you!